Special Spirit

There are times when I sit in a meeting, when everyone else seems to be completely touched by the spirit, and I'm not even remotely feeling it.
Sometimes it's my own fault... and other times, it's not.
Today was one of those days.
We were late... which should have been a tip-off that I wasn't going to be in the "right-away-spirit-feeling-kinda-mode", especially when we're late because of the other 'adult' in the house. Often, when we're late... I sit through the first 10 minutes breathing deeply so that I can invite the spirit, and let church be a good experience.
We sat in the back...which also should have been a tip-off... as every noisy family sits there. I know this. I should have paid attention and procured other seats. But I was desperate to be seated before the sacrament hymn ended.
It's not that I don't understand what it's like to have kids who are having an off-day, or kids that have special needs, making noise without understanding the purpose of any quiet time. Quite the contrary; It's always sweet to watch a mother try to teach her child the concept of "inside voice".
But alas, I battled today.
Maybe it was the stinky diapers that were not changed promptly enough for my liking. Maybe it was the choice in toys provided to be "quiet toys", which weren't.
Maybe it was my own selfishness... not wanting to try so hard get a handle on my frustration that we were late.
It took me all the way until I had to teach my lesson the 3rd hour, when the spirit consumed me. Half-way through my lesson, while talking about Mary and how, as a young woman, it must have been like to have the angel Gabriel tell you how choice you were that you would have a baby, even though you're not married...and be obedient.. I was overwhelmed by the spirit.
I almost couldn't pull myself together to finish my lesson.
I cannot fathom what Mother Mary must have felt. I cannot grasp the feelings that must have been racing through her mind. Or the fear she felt as she faced her parents. Or Joseph.
I am grateful that she was obedient. And worthy. And loyal.

Luke 1:38 "And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. "