The Dawning...
As I drove home tonight, I couldn't help smiling to myself--feeling really strong and proud of accomplishing something that has plagued me for years.
One of my weak points is that it takes me several times of making mistakes before I learn my lesson. Certainly not in the big, life altering mistakes (I generally can get those the first time around), but mostly in the little lessons of life.
Tonight, I totally get it.
I can oppose someone without feeling guilty. I can say "No" and not give a reason why, and it's ok. It's ok if people don't like me. I can NOT care about that and still live with myself.
It seems so basic and simple, but it has taken me nearly 38 years to feel this way, and fully grasp it. You have to know what a sacrifice it is for me to say this outloud. Or, rather, write this down for the world to see. A shameful proclamation.
After only 2 hours of sleep last night,I spoke with a lady tonight about a tough, touchy subject concerning her children. I have gone out of my way to help her work out several issues. But there is one situation I absolutely do not agree with and feel I cannot bend on.
I found the words to tell her my decision, and she flipped. She assumed her colonel's wife personna, telling me that it was unacceptable. And I simply referred her to the appropriate authority on the matter. She began to argue with me more, which is usually my weakness where I promptly give in....then kick myself for the next umpteen days for my weakness.
But not tonight.
I simply smiled and re-referred her to the appropriate person. Then I wished her a good night, and hugged her and went home.
I feel great.
I can do hard things.
And I did it.
One of my weak points is that it takes me several times of making mistakes before I learn my lesson. Certainly not in the big, life altering mistakes (I generally can get those the first time around), but mostly in the little lessons of life.
Tonight, I totally get it.
I can oppose someone without feeling guilty. I can say "No" and not give a reason why, and it's ok. It's ok if people don't like me. I can NOT care about that and still live with myself.
It seems so basic and simple, but it has taken me nearly 38 years to feel this way, and fully grasp it. You have to know what a sacrifice it is for me to say this outloud. Or, rather, write this down for the world to see. A shameful proclamation.
After only 2 hours of sleep last night,I spoke with a lady tonight about a tough, touchy subject concerning her children. I have gone out of my way to help her work out several issues. But there is one situation I absolutely do not agree with and feel I cannot bend on.
I found the words to tell her my decision, and she flipped. She assumed her colonel's wife personna, telling me that it was unacceptable. And I simply referred her to the appropriate authority on the matter. She began to argue with me more, which is usually my weakness where I promptly give in....then kick myself for the next umpteen days for my weakness.
But not tonight.
I simply smiled and re-referred her to the appropriate person. Then I wished her a good night, and hugged her and went home.
I feel great.
I can do hard things.
And I did it.
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