facing my own demons
Walking into the family waiting room, I smiled at the gentleman there...
He was old school, deep south...old enough to have a grandbaby and brag about it, his gold tooth shining through the proud grin.
I flinched when my son eagerly sat right next to him... my instinct was to move him away, and hiss at him for the umpteenth time about engaging conversations with strangers... particularly older men he didn't know.
The man was loud and eager to talk...and I shied away. I didn't want to talk. I smiled, trying to be polite... but busying myself with settling the children in with their "distract their minds" activities while we waited. I critically watched how he interacted with my son.
He persisted in having a conversation with me.
"Oh, how grateful I am that I'm here today."
"Oh?"
"I almost lost my life, a few weeks back"...
"Ah. Wow."
He persisted still.
"Yeh, infection near my kidneys almost stole life from me."
"How scarey."
"You just never know how precious life is until you really could lose it. I'm grateful for a second chance."
"True. Very true."
I didn't want to talk... and I didn't want to like this man... but something in his manner invited me to engage in a conversation on the preciousness of this all-too-fragile life. The more we spoke, the more joy bubbled up inside me.
I contemplated outloud how quickly things can change from one thing to another...how split-second timing changes an entire life.
A blink of an eye.
He agreed....shaking his head and wiping his glasses on his shirt... he seemed to be reliving his closeness to death over again.
I turned my thoughts inward... and felt comfort and warmth spread through me, and my mind felt calmed and stilled.
Instantly, the words came to me...
All is Well. All is Well.
God is mindful of me, and will take care of things that seem hopeless....and it never ceases to amaze me. In my faith, I still struggle at the rate of an infant.
When will I ever learn?
When our wait was over, I turned to the man, shook his hand and wished him good luck and God Bless. He took my hand in both of his and wished me the same. I smiled from the depths of my soul, grateful for his perspective this day.
Oh, how I hope that I will remember to be verbal about my gratitude for my life.
He was old school, deep south...old enough to have a grandbaby and brag about it, his gold tooth shining through the proud grin.
I flinched when my son eagerly sat right next to him... my instinct was to move him away, and hiss at him for the umpteenth time about engaging conversations with strangers... particularly older men he didn't know.
The man was loud and eager to talk...and I shied away. I didn't want to talk. I smiled, trying to be polite... but busying myself with settling the children in with their "distract their minds" activities while we waited. I critically watched how he interacted with my son.
He persisted in having a conversation with me.
"Oh, how grateful I am that I'm here today."
"Oh?"
"I almost lost my life, a few weeks back"...
"Ah. Wow."
He persisted still.
"Yeh, infection near my kidneys almost stole life from me."
"How scarey."
"You just never know how precious life is until you really could lose it. I'm grateful for a second chance."
"True. Very true."
I didn't want to talk... and I didn't want to like this man... but something in his manner invited me to engage in a conversation on the preciousness of this all-too-fragile life. The more we spoke, the more joy bubbled up inside me.
I contemplated outloud how quickly things can change from one thing to another...how split-second timing changes an entire life.
A blink of an eye.
He agreed....shaking his head and wiping his glasses on his shirt... he seemed to be reliving his closeness to death over again.
I turned my thoughts inward... and felt comfort and warmth spread through me, and my mind felt calmed and stilled.
Instantly, the words came to me...
All is Well. All is Well.
God is mindful of me, and will take care of things that seem hopeless....and it never ceases to amaze me. In my faith, I still struggle at the rate of an infant.
When will I ever learn?
When our wait was over, I turned to the man, shook his hand and wished him good luck and God Bless. He took my hand in both of his and wished me the same. I smiled from the depths of my soul, grateful for his perspective this day.
Oh, how I hope that I will remember to be verbal about my gratitude for my life.
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