Life, where I thought I'd be...
Today is my 20th anniversary from High School graduation.
I can scarcely believe it has been 20 years since that day, when I walked up the stairs, grasping at the mortarboard that refused to stay put, despite my carefully placed bobby-pins...tassel all askew. I can still see Mr. Arriaga's pock-marked face and funny mustache in my mind's eye... I can still feel the joy as I crossed the stage to receive what I thought was my ticket to freedom.
My boyfriend at the time (not my husband)was graduating that night too (although, from a different high school)... so we met up afterwards and I got permission from my parents for the first time in my life to stay out all night. I have vague memories about all we did that evening---and throughout the night...but it was all innocent and fun-- and included a lot of our friends.
I moved out of my house the very next week. On my own. And I felt liberated and all grown up.
I have vague memories of my mom taking me grocery shopping for my new place, and talking about how expensive everything would be... mentioning more than once that I would really have to prioritize and be frugal. As I inwardly rolled my eyes, I remember thinking to myself... "Why doesn't she understand that I'm smart enough to take care of myself!"
....I had no comprehension that she was struggling with the very thought that I would not be a daily part of her life any more. That fall, my family moved back overseas, and I was left to spread my wings on my own...
As I reflect at how things have unfolded these past 20 years, I realize I have exactly what I though I'd have by now. Married with lotsa kids and pets and a nice home....even though the "home" keeps moving every 3 years or so. I also have some things I never thought I'd have by now...glasses, grey hair, and a bit of a spare tire!
I SURELY didn't think I would feel the same age, 20 years later.
I now have some of my own kids in high school, and I cannot think of the day when they'll move out, anxious to spread their own wings... without tearing up and my throat closing in around a very hard lump. When they were each going through the terrible two's or the fierce four's or even the preteen/teen terrors... I mentally calculated just how much longer I had to endure life with them.
Now there are moments, when I want to yank on the reins of this runaway carriage of life, and yell "SLOW DOWN". Whose driving this buggy, anyway!?
That is one thing I hadn't counted on.
I can scarcely believe it has been 20 years since that day, when I walked up the stairs, grasping at the mortarboard that refused to stay put, despite my carefully placed bobby-pins...tassel all askew. I can still see Mr. Arriaga's pock-marked face and funny mustache in my mind's eye... I can still feel the joy as I crossed the stage to receive what I thought was my ticket to freedom.
My boyfriend at the time (not my husband)was graduating that night too (although, from a different high school)... so we met up afterwards and I got permission from my parents for the first time in my life to stay out all night. I have vague memories about all we did that evening---and throughout the night...but it was all innocent and fun-- and included a lot of our friends.
I moved out of my house the very next week. On my own. And I felt liberated and all grown up.
I have vague memories of my mom taking me grocery shopping for my new place, and talking about how expensive everything would be... mentioning more than once that I would really have to prioritize and be frugal. As I inwardly rolled my eyes, I remember thinking to myself... "Why doesn't she understand that I'm smart enough to take care of myself!"
....I had no comprehension that she was struggling with the very thought that I would not be a daily part of her life any more. That fall, my family moved back overseas, and I was left to spread my wings on my own...
As I reflect at how things have unfolded these past 20 years, I realize I have exactly what I though I'd have by now. Married with lotsa kids and pets and a nice home....even though the "home" keeps moving every 3 years or so. I also have some things I never thought I'd have by now...glasses, grey hair, and a bit of a spare tire!
I SURELY didn't think I would feel the same age, 20 years later.
I now have some of my own kids in high school, and I cannot think of the day when they'll move out, anxious to spread their own wings... without tearing up and my throat closing in around a very hard lump. When they were each going through the terrible two's or the fierce four's or even the preteen/teen terrors... I mentally calculated just how much longer I had to endure life with them.
Now there are moments, when I want to yank on the reins of this runaway carriage of life, and yell "SLOW DOWN". Whose driving this buggy, anyway!?
That is one thing I hadn't counted on.
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