This post is a bit long... and needs explaination to clarify. I totally understand if you don't care to read my vent. But I need to get it out of my system. And it's my party and I'll cry if I want too..my outlet.
One would think, that at some point, I would learn to keep my mouth shut about decisions our family makes about homeschool. One would think that I learned my lesson those 5 years ago... after all the free advice I received by well-meaning family and friends, on what a mistake I was making, by choosing to educate my children at home. I have always appreciated those who, even tho they felt we were making a bad choice, kept their opinions to themselves and wished us well.
Yet, for some reason, I keep making the mistake of opening my mouth to those I think know me, and understand me. To those who I thought knew how much thought, time and effort I put into my children. To those who I thought knew that I would never take away my child's choice to pray and receive an answer, especially when we gave our word to support their decision. To those who have the audacity to assume we have manipulated them to stay home from Public School, by misleading them about how public school "really" is. How naive of me to assume that people could see for themselves that homeschool has worked out nicely for our family.
Stupid me.
Rewind a few years.....
When we started homeschooling... we always told the kids that when they reached high school age, they could choose whether or not to go to Public High school. Last year, we arrived at high school-hood. But, with moving in the middle of the school year, and not knowing exactly when we'd be moving... our oldest daughter chose to stay homeschooling for one more year. Yes, you read that right, our daughter chose, not us. She didn't wanna have to start back to public school after 5 years of being Hs'ed, and then turn around and change schools again right in the middle. We supported her, because... well, it made sense. So, homeschool we did.
This coming fall, our 2nd daughter is freshmen age. The two of them decided to go to public school together. We totally support this--after all, we want them to experience all the High School things... good and bad.
I contacted the local high school and they have been very accomodating in helping our girls integrate into their respective grade levels.
A few months ago, my husband received offical word that he would be leaving for the big sandbox for 12-18 months this fall. After the inital worries, we set about finding the good in this.... The only way I can function, is to find reasons to like it. We prayed to find peace and have discovered a treasure trove of reasons why this will benefit us. We then had family council to discuss the changes in the next year. The kids were a bit worried at first, but then after time and much prayer, and much discussion of the pros... they are more at ease. They've been through it many times... so that helps a bit. But they've been through it many times, so they are a bit nervous as well.
A bit later, my oldest (who is doing accredited courses online for her freshman year) decided that she didn't want to go to public school this year. When I asked her why... Her reply was that she preferred the schedule and ability to go at her own pace and didn't want to give up the amount of free time she would going to PS. (I understand that freedom, because it is one of the main reasons I absolutly LOVE homschool.)She also had been entertaining some thoughts on taking some college courses on her own. Still, I told her to pray about it... and make a list of the pros and cons... and then when she'd received her answer, we'd support it. Her answer came... she wanted to continue on as she was, and re-evaluate again next fall.
Daughter #2 was still adament about attending high school. We are totally supportive of this.
As my 2nd appointment date approached at the High School, the appointment to schedule classes for daughter #2 for this fall, she came to me... and voiced some second thoughts she had about going to PS. When I asked her to make a list of the pros and cons about attending... she came back with a list, albeit short. Making new friends was the number one pro. She said that the main reason she wanted to go to PS was because she didn't have any close friends. Understandable. Her words tumbled out then... that when she wrote it down... the pros of working at her own pace and the fact that we just barely moved here...overshadowed the friend issue... and that it was silly to go just for that reason. She felt that maybe she was trying to rush everything...and not going for the reasons she felt she should. I told her the same thing I'd told our oldest daughter. Pray about it. Go over the reasons and we would support her decision.
She chose to stay home this year, and re-evaluate again next year.
In this entire discussion with EITHER of my daughters, I didn't share my opinion on what they should do, because either way, there were pros and cons. Even after their decision... I didn't express how I felt. I didn't want them to choose something because they thought it's what I wanted.
Part of me celebrates, because it lets us work at our pace. We can go on field trips, visit family, and do lots of things--without having to wait on my husband's schedule or the PS schedule. The girls are both in Seminary this fall, so we still have to be accomodating to those schedules... but our regular routine will still be what it is. That is a huge thing for me, since hubs will be gone so long.
Part of me is saddened because they will miss out on some good things. I looked forward to all the new adventures they would embark on. I especially looked forward to someone ELSE teaching them Geometry and Biology/Chemistry. *grin* Plus, the financial end of it... accredited High School ain't cheap!
Once their decisions were made, I accepted them and did what I always do...I found all the great things about their choices. I do this with everything. And so do my kids.
I talked at lengths with hubs of all the wonderful things that lay ahead. I got excited about the freedom from homework, freedom from PS hours, and freedom from alternate influences.
I also did discuss my feelings openly to a few people outside my immediate family, at times my children weren't around. I rejoiced in their decisions, and I lamented their decisions.
I am always completely taken off guard how often people feel they need to "enlighten" me, on how I'm making such a terrible mistake. People who know me better than others. People who don't know me like they used to. And even people who barely know me.
What an insult that they would think the worst of me and my feelings! What is more insulting is that some people think that we would make these decisions without weighing EVERYTHING...and ultimately bringing it to the Lord.
Why do people feel they have cornered the market on the "right" way to raise children? Why do people feel that if things aren't done "their right way", then it is most certainly a stupid choice? Why do those who are "educators" feel that Public School is the only way to raise strong, independant, socially capable people? Why do some people feel they get to judge another?????? I just don't understand it.
I cannot comprehend that people feel that because they have an opinion on something that they need to share it. I'm not asking for your advice or your approval. I'm simply sharing my news. Is it too much to ask that you be happy for me, even though you feel I'm not doing something you would do?
In the words of the bunny on Walt Disney's ROBIN HOOD,
"If you can't say somthin' nice, don't say nuttin' at all".
One would think, that at some point, I would learn to keep my mouth shut about decisions our family makes about homeschool. One would think that I learned my lesson those 5 years ago... after all the free advice I received by well-meaning family and friends, on what a mistake I was making, by choosing to educate my children at home. I have always appreciated those who, even tho they felt we were making a bad choice, kept their opinions to themselves and wished us well.
Yet, for some reason, I keep making the mistake of opening my mouth to those I think know me, and understand me. To those who I thought knew how much thought, time and effort I put into my children. To those who I thought knew that I would never take away my child's choice to pray and receive an answer, especially when we gave our word to support their decision. To those who have the audacity to assume we have manipulated them to stay home from Public School, by misleading them about how public school "really" is. How naive of me to assume that people could see for themselves that homeschool has worked out nicely for our family.
Stupid me.
Rewind a few years.....
When we started homeschooling... we always told the kids that when they reached high school age, they could choose whether or not to go to Public High school. Last year, we arrived at high school-hood. But, with moving in the middle of the school year, and not knowing exactly when we'd be moving... our oldest daughter chose to stay homeschooling for one more year. Yes, you read that right, our daughter chose, not us. She didn't wanna have to start back to public school after 5 years of being Hs'ed, and then turn around and change schools again right in the middle. We supported her, because... well, it made sense. So, homeschool we did.
This coming fall, our 2nd daughter is freshmen age. The two of them decided to go to public school together. We totally support this--after all, we want them to experience all the High School things... good and bad.
I contacted the local high school and they have been very accomodating in helping our girls integrate into their respective grade levels.
A few months ago, my husband received offical word that he would be leaving for the big sandbox for 12-18 months this fall. After the inital worries, we set about finding the good in this.... The only way I can function, is to find reasons to like it. We prayed to find peace and have discovered a treasure trove of reasons why this will benefit us. We then had family council to discuss the changes in the next year. The kids were a bit worried at first, but then after time and much prayer, and much discussion of the pros... they are more at ease. They've been through it many times... so that helps a bit. But they've been through it many times, so they are a bit nervous as well.
A bit later, my oldest (who is doing accredited courses online for her freshman year) decided that she didn't want to go to public school this year. When I asked her why... Her reply was that she preferred the schedule and ability to go at her own pace and didn't want to give up the amount of free time she would going to PS. (I understand that freedom, because it is one of the main reasons I absolutly LOVE homschool.)She also had been entertaining some thoughts on taking some college courses on her own. Still, I told her to pray about it... and make a list of the pros and cons... and then when she'd received her answer, we'd support it. Her answer came... she wanted to continue on as she was, and re-evaluate again next fall.
Daughter #2 was still adament about attending high school. We are totally supportive of this.
As my 2nd appointment date approached at the High School, the appointment to schedule classes for daughter #2 for this fall, she came to me... and voiced some second thoughts she had about going to PS. When I asked her to make a list of the pros and cons about attending... she came back with a list, albeit short. Making new friends was the number one pro. She said that the main reason she wanted to go to PS was because she didn't have any close friends. Understandable. Her words tumbled out then... that when she wrote it down... the pros of working at her own pace and the fact that we just barely moved here...overshadowed the friend issue... and that it was silly to go just for that reason. She felt that maybe she was trying to rush everything...and not going for the reasons she felt she should. I told her the same thing I'd told our oldest daughter. Pray about it. Go over the reasons and we would support her decision.
She chose to stay home this year, and re-evaluate again next year.
In this entire discussion with EITHER of my daughters, I didn't share my opinion on what they should do, because either way, there were pros and cons. Even after their decision... I didn't express how I felt. I didn't want them to choose something because they thought it's what I wanted.
Part of me celebrates, because it lets us work at our pace. We can go on field trips, visit family, and do lots of things--without having to wait on my husband's schedule or the PS schedule. The girls are both in Seminary this fall, so we still have to be accomodating to those schedules... but our regular routine will still be what it is. That is a huge thing for me, since hubs will be gone so long.
Part of me is saddened because they will miss out on some good things. I looked forward to all the new adventures they would embark on. I especially looked forward to someone ELSE teaching them Geometry and Biology/Chemistry. *grin* Plus, the financial end of it... accredited High School ain't cheap!
Once their decisions were made, I accepted them and did what I always do...I found all the great things about their choices. I do this with everything. And so do my kids.
I talked at lengths with hubs of all the wonderful things that lay ahead. I got excited about the freedom from homework, freedom from PS hours, and freedom from alternate influences.
I also did discuss my feelings openly to a few people outside my immediate family, at times my children weren't around. I rejoiced in their decisions, and I lamented their decisions.
I am always completely taken off guard how often people feel they need to "enlighten" me, on how I'm making such a terrible mistake. People who know me better than others. People who don't know me like they used to. And even people who barely know me.
What an insult that they would think the worst of me and my feelings! What is more insulting is that some people think that we would make these decisions without weighing EVERYTHING...and ultimately bringing it to the Lord.
Why do people feel they have cornered the market on the "right" way to raise children? Why do people feel that if things aren't done "their right way", then it is most certainly a stupid choice? Why do those who are "educators" feel that Public School is the only way to raise strong, independant, socially capable people? Why do some people feel they get to judge another?????? I just don't understand it.
I cannot comprehend that people feel that because they have an opinion on something that they need to share it. I'm not asking for your advice or your approval. I'm simply sharing my news. Is it too much to ask that you be happy for me, even though you feel I'm not doing something you would do?
In the words of the bunny on Walt Disney's ROBIN HOOD,
"If you can't say somthin' nice, don't say nuttin' at all".
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