Are you there, God? It's me...

My mom and I never really talked in great detail about growing up. At least this is my perception.

It isn't really her fault... after all... her own mother died when she was only 9...so she got "the talk" from her dad I suppose. Plus, it seems that generation didn't really talk about things, such as periods, puberty and general PMS. Not that I wanted to dwell on it for hours...

So... When I turned 11 my mom got me the book ... "Are you there, God? It's me Margaret."by Judy Blume. I learned a heckuva lot about how I wasn't alone... in my fears and anxieties about... well, just about being caught between childhood and womanhood. When I started my cycle, my mom quickly explained how to put on those belted beasts (oh....the memories!) and explained I might have some cramps. End of discussion. In reality, I doubt she knew much more than that about how cycles affect a woman's entire MIND,BODY, and SOUL! (The day I brought up tampons, she could not help me--as she had no idea how they worked herself. So, I read the insert to the box, and after much trial and MANY errors, I figured it out for myself.)

When I began having so many daughters, I vowed that we would be much more open. I vowed that I would make it as easy as possible to talk to them about anything. THankfully, they are very candid with me.

When my oldest turned 11... I bought the same book, now in paperback, by Judy Blume. It wasn't that I didn't know how to talk to her... I just wanted her to have an opportunity to read about how other girls her age feel. Especially since we homeschooled and she wasn't getting the "SEX TALK" in school....and didn't really have any close friends she could confide in or that confided in her.

It opened a discussion forum between us. She candidly asked me questions, and I openly told her what I knew. I also did the same for my second daughter. Our discussions became more detailed, as this daughter suffers from the same PMS symptoms I do. We talked candidly about how sometimes, for NO REASON at all, it seems, you just want to strangle someone. Or feel an overwhelming emotion. We talked about learning how to channel our feelings when we know it's just the hormones. Suprisingly, it has been very theraputic FOR ME.. to just talk about the things that we women struggle with from time to time. My 3rd daughter is now 11. When we moved, somehow we lost our copy of the book. So, yesterday, when I went to Wallyworld, I picked up another copy.

Last night, as I gave it to her..... I began the door opening conversation to my newest nearly teen. It amazes me, with each daughter, how our relationship changes when they reach teh beginnings of Womanhood. I imgaine our friendships will be everchanging... as they are everchanging. While I don't love that we women go through these things.... I am grateful for the feelings of "sameness" and "sisterhood" that come with the knowledge that we are all going through the same things. And I love that my daughters are becoming my very best friends.

“The mother-daughter relationship is the most complex.” ~~Wynonna Judd