Sweet Sixteen- Part 2
The months that followed were the beginning of self-discovery for me.
After Dad left, I continued working my dreaded job, merely to keep myself getting out of bed everyday... Merely to keep my mind off of how awful I felt about him being gone.
Yet, in the quiet moments at our little apartment, when I was so sick I couldn't move for fear I might be thrown to the ground in another bout of vertigo and never ending nausea, I would hold my hands around my tummy, and smile a quiet, joy-filled smile, knowing I was entrusted with a precious spirit... That it would all be worth it.
I took pictures every week, in the same bathingsuit, in the same place in front of the fireplace, holding a sign that denoted the week of pregnancy, so I could send the pictures to your dad. He loved to see the changes.
The morning Dad was due to arrive back home, I changed my clothes about 25 times. I was so nervous that he would find my pregant body ugly and repulsive. I finally settled on the first thing I'd tried on.
As I drove to the airport to stand with all the other families to welcome our brave soldiers home, dread came over me as I heard the news from the middle east on the radio, that Iraq had invaded Kuwait. I firmly shoved that dread aside, because it wasn't possible. He wouldn't deploy again so soon. He already did his time this year. Surely there were other companies that were due to rotate.
The plane landed in the midst of a thunderous applause from all the eager families, holding their yellow ribbons and "welcome home" signs.The moment I finally saw his face, among the sea of Army Uniforms, I felt such relief, & I began bawling. His first words? "You look beautiful pregnant". What a charmer.
In the ensuing weeks, we came to know that indeed he would leave again, sheduled to leave a week before your duedate. I was petrified that I'd be alone, and have to be alone for your birth. We prayed for Heavenly Father to make it possible for Dad to be with us when you were born.
Our prayers were answered and his deployment delayed for a week past your due date.
And...
You came into this world 9 days early, after the longest 18 hours of my life.
One look at your red, squalling face... and one inhale of your beautiful baby breath... had instantly bonded my heart to yours...
forever.
After Dad left, I continued working my dreaded job, merely to keep myself getting out of bed everyday... Merely to keep my mind off of how awful I felt about him being gone.
Yet, in the quiet moments at our little apartment, when I was so sick I couldn't move for fear I might be thrown to the ground in another bout of vertigo and never ending nausea, I would hold my hands around my tummy, and smile a quiet, joy-filled smile, knowing I was entrusted with a precious spirit... That it would all be worth it.
I took pictures every week, in the same bathingsuit, in the same place in front of the fireplace, holding a sign that denoted the week of pregnancy, so I could send the pictures to your dad. He loved to see the changes.
The morning Dad was due to arrive back home, I changed my clothes about 25 times. I was so nervous that he would find my pregant body ugly and repulsive. I finally settled on the first thing I'd tried on.
As I drove to the airport to stand with all the other families to welcome our brave soldiers home, dread came over me as I heard the news from the middle east on the radio, that Iraq had invaded Kuwait. I firmly shoved that dread aside, because it wasn't possible. He wouldn't deploy again so soon. He already did his time this year. Surely there were other companies that were due to rotate.
The plane landed in the midst of a thunderous applause from all the eager families, holding their yellow ribbons and "welcome home" signs.The moment I finally saw his face, among the sea of Army Uniforms, I felt such relief, & I began bawling. His first words? "You look beautiful pregnant". What a charmer.
In the ensuing weeks, we came to know that indeed he would leave again, sheduled to leave a week before your duedate. I was petrified that I'd be alone, and have to be alone for your birth. We prayed for Heavenly Father to make it possible for Dad to be with us when you were born.
Our prayers were answered and his deployment delayed for a week past your due date.
And...
You came into this world 9 days early, after the longest 18 hours of my life.
One look at your red, squalling face... and one inhale of your beautiful baby breath... had instantly bonded my heart to yours...
forever.
Happy Birthday, my sweet Sixteen-year-old.
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