What I wish I could say IRL
Dear Pot-Stir-er:
I found our conversation today very unsettling. I realize that you have your own issues, and that you had a sucky childhood. I try really hard to remind myself that you don't realize how judgemental and mean you sound. Do you realize that when you discuss things around me that are unfounded "accusations"about friends and their children , you put me in a compromising position? You make my heart so sad. You jump straight to the conclusion that there is no other explaination and point your finger when you have no proof. When you first moved here, you would say things to me about my closest friends--just to "help" me see their bad sides. Why would you do that? Jealousy? Meanness? Do you really lack enough confidence just to be happy about your life--that you have to pick apart other people's lives? Or are you really that mean?? I used to ignore it---pretend you didn't really mean it. But it is so common now that it makes me so depressed when I see you coming. I dread when you come to my house, and I hate to see you in the hall. I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I get exasperated with people.. because people are ...well....People. Human. They make mistakes. Who doesn't?? But a true friend finds ways to love people, rather than put them down, degrade them or find ways to make other people not like them. It's ok to vent. It helps with the process of loving people.... Finding a way to deal with whatever has happend. But how can you find so much joy in finding fault with others??? How can you sleep at night, knowing you told me such horrible things that probably aren't even true? Why don't you take a long hard look at your own family problems and how you make other people feel? Check out how your daughter sneaks down to your car, changes out of that big bulky sweater, emerges from your car with a skimpy tank top and tight shorts, trots herself over to the group of boys at the park near your house, then laughs, hits, shamlessly flirts, and chases them with her chest bouncing all over, then when done with her show, gets back in the car, puts on that bulky sweater and marches upstairs--acting pure as the driven snow and totally without your knowledge. Oh, I forget. You are never home. How could you notice that?? There is no way on this planet I could come to you and tell you because you wouldn't believe me, and would cause problems for me and my family...and I've had enough problems with the anxiety my girls get spending a total of 10 days with her in the group of campers. How many times have people taken on the anguishing task of coming to you with a concern about any one of your children, only to get blasted by fingers pointed by you-- everywhere but at your own children...It makes my head SPIN how fast you are willing to assume the worst about everyone. It turns my stomach to wonder at what you must say behind my back. Wake up. You have lots of talents, lots of money, and should be very content. Find something to validate yourself that is productive. Just look around yourself. Take a REAL look at your family and make a difference. Don't just exist. Don't just survive raising (if you can call it that) your family. And stop assuming that people's children are so bad that their parents are complete moron's and don't see it. You know what they say about glass houses.
I found our conversation today very unsettling. I realize that you have your own issues, and that you had a sucky childhood. I try really hard to remind myself that you don't realize how judgemental and mean you sound. Do you realize that when you discuss things around me that are unfounded "accusations"about friends and their children , you put me in a compromising position? You make my heart so sad. You jump straight to the conclusion that there is no other explaination and point your finger when you have no proof. When you first moved here, you would say things to me about my closest friends--just to "help" me see their bad sides. Why would you do that? Jealousy? Meanness? Do you really lack enough confidence just to be happy about your life--that you have to pick apart other people's lives? Or are you really that mean?? I used to ignore it---pretend you didn't really mean it. But it is so common now that it makes me so depressed when I see you coming. I dread when you come to my house, and I hate to see you in the hall. I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I get exasperated with people.. because people are ...well....People. Human. They make mistakes. Who doesn't?? But a true friend finds ways to love people, rather than put them down, degrade them or find ways to make other people not like them. It's ok to vent. It helps with the process of loving people.... Finding a way to deal with whatever has happend. But how can you find so much joy in finding fault with others??? How can you sleep at night, knowing you told me such horrible things that probably aren't even true? Why don't you take a long hard look at your own family problems and how you make other people feel? Check out how your daughter sneaks down to your car, changes out of that big bulky sweater, emerges from your car with a skimpy tank top and tight shorts, trots herself over to the group of boys at the park near your house, then laughs, hits, shamlessly flirts, and chases them with her chest bouncing all over, then when done with her show, gets back in the car, puts on that bulky sweater and marches upstairs--acting pure as the driven snow and totally without your knowledge. Oh, I forget. You are never home. How could you notice that?? There is no way on this planet I could come to you and tell you because you wouldn't believe me, and would cause problems for me and my family...and I've had enough problems with the anxiety my girls get spending a total of 10 days with her in the group of campers. How many times have people taken on the anguishing task of coming to you with a concern about any one of your children, only to get blasted by fingers pointed by you-- everywhere but at your own children...It makes my head SPIN how fast you are willing to assume the worst about everyone. It turns my stomach to wonder at what you must say behind my back. Wake up. You have lots of talents, lots of money, and should be very content. Find something to validate yourself that is productive. Just look around yourself. Take a REAL look at your family and make a difference. Don't just exist. Don't just survive raising (if you can call it that) your family. And stop assuming that people's children are so bad that their parents are complete moron's and don't see it. You know what they say about glass houses.
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