Differences...

Today, I had a great conversation with my nearly 15 year old. The conversation came after I happend on an ugly situation with 2 children---when those 2 children thought I'd already gone to my appointment. Yeh, seriously ugly. At first I yelled at the two of them, citing that they both know better-- and that it worried me that this is how they behaved while I was gone. I had to go to the appointment, the nearly 15 year old had an orthodontic appt and I was running a bit behind---so I left them with sentences to write. In the car on the way up, I discussed my feelings with the nearly 15-year-old. (Can she really almost be 15?) I told her how I used to think that if I did a better job at loving my kids, really listening and spending time with them, that there would be less bickering and hateful talk. I thought all I had to do was pay attention, and most of that crap wouldn't even exsist. I expressed how I have made it my life's work to teach them how to speak to one another, how to imagine themselves in the other's shoes, how to change the tone by being the 'Christ-like' one, and the Golden Rule. I really truly thought I was making a difference. But lately--- there are real moments of discord....where I'm ready to brain the lot of them and hide in my room under my covers until it's over. BUT, I don't--because I just can't let it go. I rant, rave, beg, discuss, plead, hug, spank, hug somemore, dole out any punishments bad enough that they might think twice the next time. And still,it continues. Maybe my hard work is for nothing, I tell her. Maybe I'm just wasting my time. Maybe I should do what all the other parents do and just ignore it. During this long list of what I try to do, the almost-15-year-old sits quietly and listens to my every word. When I'm done, she is quiet a few minutes more and slowly and calmly--and ever so wisely says: "Mom, the only reason we argue is because we are all different. It's not that you aren't doing a good job, because we all love you. It's just us, learning how to work it out. It's what you want. It's what you've taught us to do. We have to learn by experience, and this is the only way."
I sat there.
Thinking.
Pondering.
When did that girl get so smart?