Friendship
Wednesday, December 29 2004
In my lifetime, I have had a few friends. However, I tend to not get very close to women. My experiences are that mostly women are catty and very self serving. I tend to attract mostly very needy women who don't think much outside their own life. In my quest to find friends that are on the same path I am, who are trying to improve, and love to laugh, I have found I am way more selective on who I spend my time on. Sometimes, that means I am lonely. In my religion, we are taught to be service oriented people. I found that I would try to live this principle of the gospel, but seemed to always wind up with little to no oil in my "lamp". I found that most women who I tried to help, were mostly takers. And even kept me in what I call "Spiritual Black-mail"... meaning, they knew I was taught to give, so they could constantly ask. Why are these people drawn to me...or why do I attract them? Do I have "sucker" written on my forhead? There is, on occasion, women who come into my life that are wonderful, sweet, very humerous, and so giving. For these precious blessings, I am truly grateful. I had a great friend in College, Janelle...who was such a wonderful friend. We were only friends for about 2 years, but we went through a lot together. She took another path, and is no longer living. She killed herself 14 years ago. I miss her still. My friend, Erin, is a great example of true friendship. She and I hit it off from the moment we met, and remain true blue friends, through thick and thin for the last 10 years. I would have to say that other than my relatives, this is the longest female friendship I've ever had. I can say anything to her and know that she loves me unconditionally. I had a friend named Leah who saved my sanity when we lived in Germany. She was a true friend who treated me like she liked me no matter how screwed up I was! My sister, Laura, is another example. We weren't very close while we were children, but as adults we are such close pals. We laugh so hard, we cry so much, and share with each other so much. We feel joy at each other's accomplishments, and feel sorrow for the other's pain. I have had the opportunity to get to know my littlest sister, Erin Leigh, better and I enjoy our friendship very much. There is 12 years between us and so by the time she was 5, I moved out on my own. I look forward to getting to know her more. My friend from Texas, Amy, taught me how to say "NO". She called it "growing a backbone". She gave me the tools to be able to say no without upsetting people, and preserving my happiness. She also helped me take the leap to homeschool our kids. One friend here in Germany, Suzy, is a great friend. We used to walk together 3 1/2-4 miles everyday and she taught me the art of "venting for the purpose of improving". She helped me to remain focused and keep plugging along even when I was so down about my husband.. Another friend,here in Germany, is Carrie. She is so sweet and works so hard. She has 6 kids and is so giving. She is the 2nd counselor in RS presidency, works 2 jobs, manages a wonderful family, feeds the missionaries, and laughs often. I gravitate towards her and love to be with her family. She inspires me. Most recently, I have made a new online friend, who makes me laugh and I can pretty well say anything and it is no big deal. She has the same sarcastic humor that I love...and is a homeschooler as well. She has been through a lot, and still laughs. I don't get to chat with her often, but when we chat, we laugh a lot. My experiences with friendship have taught me a lot about what sort of friend I am. I'm sad to say that I'm not always as good a friend as I could be. Another resolution. Be a better friend.
In my lifetime, I have had a few friends. However, I tend to not get very close to women. My experiences are that mostly women are catty and very self serving. I tend to attract mostly very needy women who don't think much outside their own life. In my quest to find friends that are on the same path I am, who are trying to improve, and love to laugh, I have found I am way more selective on who I spend my time on. Sometimes, that means I am lonely. In my religion, we are taught to be service oriented people. I found that I would try to live this principle of the gospel, but seemed to always wind up with little to no oil in my "lamp". I found that most women who I tried to help, were mostly takers. And even kept me in what I call "Spiritual Black-mail"... meaning, they knew I was taught to give, so they could constantly ask. Why are these people drawn to me...or why do I attract them? Do I have "sucker" written on my forhead? There is, on occasion, women who come into my life that are wonderful, sweet, very humerous, and so giving. For these precious blessings, I am truly grateful. I had a great friend in College, Janelle...who was such a wonderful friend. We were only friends for about 2 years, but we went through a lot together. She took another path, and is no longer living. She killed herself 14 years ago. I miss her still. My friend, Erin, is a great example of true friendship. She and I hit it off from the moment we met, and remain true blue friends, through thick and thin for the last 10 years. I would have to say that other than my relatives, this is the longest female friendship I've ever had. I can say anything to her and know that she loves me unconditionally. I had a friend named Leah who saved my sanity when we lived in Germany. She was a true friend who treated me like she liked me no matter how screwed up I was! My sister, Laura, is another example. We weren't very close while we were children, but as adults we are such close pals. We laugh so hard, we cry so much, and share with each other so much. We feel joy at each other's accomplishments, and feel sorrow for the other's pain. I have had the opportunity to get to know my littlest sister, Erin Leigh, better and I enjoy our friendship very much. There is 12 years between us and so by the time she was 5, I moved out on my own. I look forward to getting to know her more. My friend from Texas, Amy, taught me how to say "NO". She called it "growing a backbone". She gave me the tools to be able to say no without upsetting people, and preserving my happiness. She also helped me take the leap to homeschool our kids. One friend here in Germany, Suzy, is a great friend. We used to walk together 3 1/2-4 miles everyday and she taught me the art of "venting for the purpose of improving". She helped me to remain focused and keep plugging along even when I was so down about my husband.. Another friend,here in Germany, is Carrie. She is so sweet and works so hard. She has 6 kids and is so giving. She is the 2nd counselor in RS presidency, works 2 jobs, manages a wonderful family, feeds the missionaries, and laughs often. I gravitate towards her and love to be with her family. She inspires me. Most recently, I have made a new online friend, who makes me laugh and I can pretty well say anything and it is no big deal. She has the same sarcastic humor that I love...and is a homeschooler as well. She has been through a lot, and still laughs. I don't get to chat with her often, but when we chat, we laugh a lot. My experiences with friendship have taught me a lot about what sort of friend I am. I'm sad to say that I'm not always as good a friend as I could be. Another resolution. Be a better friend.
Comments