Private
My thoughts have been pretty private these past few months... I haven't really shared much of my day to day life.
Mostly embarassment has played a part in that.
And lack of time... trying to balance a more than full time job with still doing my home jobs.
But I have missed the outlet.
My husband has been fired from 3 jobs in the first year we were here.
And hasn't had a job since last summer.
He doesn't look for a job, in reality.
He pretends for my sake.
He's struggling with some things... and while my heart understands that...
my mind is really having a hard time understanding what he is going through.
And there have been some very low times.
Times when I think we won't make it intact.
Times when I realize why people give up on their partner.
And it scared me.
Opportunities present themselves, and I move in new directions. Each step is hard... and I let fear in... trying to slam the door before it consumes me.
My faith is increasing....
and at least that's something.
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."~~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mostly embarassment has played a part in that.
And lack of time... trying to balance a more than full time job with still doing my home jobs.
But I have missed the outlet.
My husband has been fired from 3 jobs in the first year we were here.
And hasn't had a job since last summer.
He doesn't look for a job, in reality.
He pretends for my sake.
He's struggling with some things... and while my heart understands that...
my mind is really having a hard time understanding what he is going through.
And there have been some very low times.
Times when I think we won't make it intact.
Times when I realize why people give up on their partner.
And it scared me.
Opportunities present themselves, and I move in new directions. Each step is hard... and I let fear in... trying to slam the door before it consumes me.
My faith is increasing....
and at least that's something.
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."~~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Comments
I was not a lifer but it took me some time to get use to living the civilian life. That's why I reenlisted into the army.
Take care, Lee
Awesome!!
===========================
“The Carpenter of Nazareth,”
by George Blair
In Nazareth, the narrow road,
That tires the feet and steals the breath,
Passes the place where once abode
The Carpenter of Nazareth.
And up and down the dusty way
The village folk would often wend;
And on the bench, beside Him, lay
Their broken things for Him to mend.
The maiden with the doll she broke,
The woman with the broken chair,
The man with broken plough, or yoke,
Said, “Can you mend it, Carpenter?”
And each received the thing he sought,
In yoke, or plough, or chair, or doll;
The broken thing which each had brought
Returned again a perfect whole.
So, up the hill the long years through,
With heavy step and wistful eye,
The burdened souls their way pursue,
Uttering each the plaintive cry:
“O Carpenter of Nazareth,
This heart, that’s broken past repair,
This life, that’s shattered nigh to death,
Oh, can You mend them, Carpenter?”
And by His kind and ready hand,
His own sweet life is woven through
Our broken lives, until they stand
A New Creation—“all things new.”
“The shattered substance of the heart,
Desire, ambition, hope, and faith,
Mould Thou into the perfect part,
O, Carpenter of Nazareth!”