I never have the right zinger...
How is it that I cannot for the life of me find the right thing to say at the right time to the person who needs to hear it the most!?
I would love to put some people in their place exactly when they need it.
I would LOVE to be able to respond to another person's selfishness with the perfect "ZINGER".
Whenever confrontation hits... I get flustered.
My stomach churns and my face instantly flushes and feels sweaty.
My throat goes dry and I panic.
Then I proceed to walk around the rest of my day rehearsing what I could have said, over and over.... Until what I SHOULD have said finally comes to mind.
But it's too late by then... because either the person I wanted to use it on is gone, or we've moved on to something else.
And I look pretty silly rehearsing.
I don't even realize I'm doing it until someone says
"What?????? You tahkin' to me??"
At that moment, I'm embarrassed that I actually said what I was rehearsing OUTLOUD instead of in my mind.
I look like a loon...
and I get more angry at the jerk that made me walk around rehearsing in the first place.
I need resolution and one way or another I have to find resolution.
So while I'm rehearsing what I should say...
I set up scenarios in which I could really confront a person.
By the time I have it sorted out.... and get to the confrontation part...
I'm so nervous I babble. on. and. on.
And even though I hear myself...I CANNOT. MAKE. MYSELF. STOP.
Usually tho, it ends up with me apologing when I don't even know why or what I did wrong.
And I leave the scenrio more frusrated with myself, than if I had just left it all alone.
See, with the Zingers... I could say it when it matters, and skip all the other crap that goes along with rehearsal.
The end.
Then I could just deal with the inevitable guilt that comes my way, without having to rehash it.
Simple.
*sigh*
Joe Fox: [talking via email, to who he doesn’t know is Kathleen Kelly] Have you ever become the worst version of yourself. That a pandora's box of all the hateful things, your spite, your arrogance, your condecension has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away... you zing them. "Hello it's Mr Nasty". I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about...
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email, to who she doesn’t know is Joe Fox] No I know exactly what you mean and I'm completely jealous. When I'm confronted by someone I get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning over what i should have said.
Joe Fox: Wouldn’t it be great if I could pass all my zingers to you, then I could always be nice and you could be nasty whenever you wanted to be. Although I must warn you... when you eventually have the pleasure of saying the thing you want to say at the moment you’re wanting to say it... remorse eventually follows... do you think we should meet?
Kathleen Kelly: [shocked] Meet?
~~Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail"
I would love to put some people in their place exactly when they need it.
I would LOVE to be able to respond to another person's selfishness with the perfect "ZINGER".
Whenever confrontation hits... I get flustered.
My stomach churns and my face instantly flushes and feels sweaty.
My throat goes dry and I panic.
Then I proceed to walk around the rest of my day rehearsing what I could have said, over and over.... Until what I SHOULD have said finally comes to mind.
But it's too late by then... because either the person I wanted to use it on is gone, or we've moved on to something else.
And I look pretty silly rehearsing.
I don't even realize I'm doing it until someone says
"What?????? You tahkin' to me??"
At that moment, I'm embarrassed that I actually said what I was rehearsing OUTLOUD instead of in my mind.
I look like a loon...
and I get more angry at the jerk that made me walk around rehearsing in the first place.
I need resolution and one way or another I have to find resolution.
So while I'm rehearsing what I should say...
I set up scenarios in which I could really confront a person.
By the time I have it sorted out.... and get to the confrontation part...
I'm so nervous I babble. on. and. on.
And even though I hear myself...I CANNOT. MAKE. MYSELF. STOP.
Usually tho, it ends up with me apologing when I don't even know why or what I did wrong.
And I leave the scenrio more frusrated with myself, than if I had just left it all alone.
See, with the Zingers... I could say it when it matters, and skip all the other crap that goes along with rehearsal.
The end.
Then I could just deal with the inevitable guilt that comes my way, without having to rehash it.
Simple.
*sigh*
Joe Fox: [talking via email, to who he doesn’t know is Kathleen Kelly] Have you ever become the worst version of yourself. That a pandora's box of all the hateful things, your spite, your arrogance, your condecension has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away... you zing them. "Hello it's Mr Nasty". I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about...
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email, to who she doesn’t know is Joe Fox] No I know exactly what you mean and I'm completely jealous. When I'm confronted by someone I get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend the rest of the night tossing and turning over what i should have said.
Joe Fox: Wouldn’t it be great if I could pass all my zingers to you, then I could always be nice and you could be nasty whenever you wanted to be. Although I must warn you... when you eventually have the pleasure of saying the thing you want to say at the moment you’re wanting to say it... remorse eventually follows... do you think we should meet?
Kathleen Kelly: [shocked] Meet?
~~Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail"
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